First Time: Leaving B for Work

Guest Post :: During my pregnancy, I remember thinking how will “it” all work out being a mom entrepreneur. In this scenario “it” doesn’t just refer to the baby-to-be, “it” refers to “life with work AND baby”.

Then Bella was born! “It” was forgotten for a few magnificent and sleep-deprived weeks. At 6 weeks the initial shock/bliss/ OMG! started to fade and “it” came back in a real in-your-face way. What was I going to do as a mom entrepreneur? (By the way, let me acknowledge that I am extremely fortunate to have had the privilege of asking that question.)

My uncle and father figure gave me advice that helped me figure out my next step. He said, “Robyn, if you’re truly unsure of what to do…go back to work. Right now Bella eats, sleeps and poops all day, every day. While that in itself is amazing, she sleeps so much of the day you won’t be missing that much – and this will give you the opportunity to know what will make you happiest and most fulfilled. As time passes, it gets harder to “try” this out mom entrepreneur (both to get a job and to leave your child). Remember, if it’s too heartbreaking or difficult you will know what to do without having any doubt.”

So, back to work it would be for me. Um, that left 6 weeks for us to figure out whom we would trust with the most important person in our lives.

I’m not sure why, but my gut said nanny. I know daycare is an awesome option for many people, but because of my mom entrepreneur schedule I followed my instinct and we started our nanny hunt.

I put together my ultimate description. I looked into nanny placement agencies, but opted to post a “wanted ad” on our local parent organization’s message board. In addition, I weeded through nanny posts regarding placement in my area. In a week’s time I had 10 nannies coming over for interviews.  Jeff and I met with them armed with our handy list of questions. (See our SMRT Questions for Potential Caregivers.)

Nobody felt like “the one.”

Oy. Four weeks left.

Then, one of my best friends approached me with an idea. “How about doing a nanny share?” She had an adorable one-year-old daughter and she absolutely loved her nanny.  The rest is history. Diane came over and before we had even asked any of our questions, we just knew. She. Was. The. One. We found her! (And of course we asked our questions to be sure!) The Universe had aligned. Diane made me feel at ease in a way that I can’t put into words.

With our nanny share in place, it was a matter of preparing myself  as mom entrepreneur emotionally and physically for getting back into the working routine. I had to start pumping and get the whole milk-freezing process down. Then we had to make sure Bella was somewhat sleeping through the night (thank goodness that wasn’t an ordeal.) And, we had to figure out a routine that would allow enough time for her feeding (she was a slow eater), as well as time for me to shower and look somewhat normal before heading to work in the morning. There was also the diaper bag prep, which for some reason I felt compelled to control. So the night before my first day back as mom entrepreneur was a sleepless one (due to me, not a crying baby), and I checked the diaper bag many times.

Leaving Bella for the first day as mom entrepreneur was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I felt scared, guilty, sad, free, weird and tired all at once. Having Diane there alleviated any true panic, but it was just this inexplicable feeling. Oh, and the other thing…coming home from work was a whole other ball game. I realized that I couldn’t just “sit” or “take a break” from my “day,” my second job was waiting for me and she deserved all of my love and attention.

After Bella had her late feeding that night, I still had work as mom entrepreneur to catch up on, emails and phone calls to answer, Jeff to talk to…and I had never felt so tired. I wasn’t sure if I could do it the next day. Yet I did. And the day after that and so on, until…well that’s the beginning of a whole other article.

I am forever thankful for my uncle’s advice (thanks Uncle Bruce!!). I pass it on to anybody in a similar situation. It was the perfect time to figure out what would be best for me…and for Bella.

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SMRT TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS ARTICLE

*Looking for a nanny or babysitter? Put together your ultimate description as mom entrepreneur. You will use this to communicate your wants and needs to a nanny agency or to post a wanted ad. What kind of person are you looking for? A disciplinarian? A real nurturer? How many years experience? Do you expect them to do more than just care for your child? Clean? Cook? Do laundry? Do you expect them to drive? How many hours per day and week do you need them? What times of day? Capture it all.

*Questions for Potential Caregivers 

*Once you find your nanny ask them to keep a log of pees, poops, activities, foods eaten, etc. Diane left me a log (we call it “the binder”)…it makes such a difference – even if it is all about eating, sleeping and poop!

Robyn Miller Brecker started producing children’s television at Nickelodeon and has spent the past 16 years at Harpo, Inc. and OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network (The Oprah Winfrey Show, Oprah.com). She’s worked with the world’s leading experts in health, parenting, spirituality, finance, relationships, beauty, fashion, and home décor. She’s had the privilege of creating life-changing programs that have impacted millions. The moment she became a mother, she knew all of these past experiences and relationships prepared her to create SMRT Parenting. Read more of Robyn’s posts here.