Getting To 50/50 With Sharon Meers & Joanna Strober.

I spoke with the authors of Getting To 50/50, a brand new book that addresses “How Working Couples Can Have It All By Sharing It All.” Sharon Meers and Joanna Strober(working mom) were kind enough to be our author-interview guinea pigs. And they travel in very fancypants circles–they’ll be appearing on The Today Show on this Friday, February 27!

Why did you choose to write this book now?
Sharon: We wanted to make things better for working couples – we saw too many talented women giving up on jobs they worked hard to get because things just aren’t set up for dual-career families. So we went looking for a roadmap to help more couples find their way to what they want. We surveyed 1100 working mom and hundreds of men and women in two-career couples. We talked to dozens of the leading social scientists who study the outcomes for dual career families to find out what the facts are. We hope Getting To 50/50 will help get people talking – men with women, parents with employers – about what’s needed for working parents to succeed both at work and at home. It’s possible and it’s good for everyone.
Joanna: As a working mom with a working spouse, I really wanted to see more role models. And I realized that I had become a “role model” for younger women just starting in their careers. So I thought it would be fun to find out the secrets of couples who were managing two careers and family, both as role models for myself and others.
How many children do you have, and how old are they?
Sharon: My son is almost 8 and my daughter is 4.
Joanna: I have three kids: a daughter, 10, and 2 boys, ages 7 and 2.5.
How long did it take you to write the book?
Sharon: It’s taken over three years to do all the research, writing and editing – a lot longer than we expected. But it’s been tremendously rewarding to meet so many working mom who feel good about combining work and family and lots of great ideas to share with our readers – we’ve learned a ton ourselves. We also loved getting to talk to all the social scientists – the psychologists, sociologists and economists who study children and dual-career marriage – the research they shared with us is really encouraging for those of us in dual-career homes.
 As a working mom, how did your husband and/or family react to your teaming up and becoming authors? You are two smart cookies—did they think you were crazy to add this writing bit to your life?
Sharon: My husband was thrilled – I’d been talking about doing this book with Joanna for a while and my husband thought it would be great for me to take the leap and “just do it”. I was in the process of changing jobs. To have the kind of job I wanted at the company where I’d worked for 16 years, I realized I needed to move our family to New York. So I left my firm with the idea I’d take 18 months off, write a book and find a job closer to home. The book part just took a bit longer : -)
Joanna: Yes, my husband thought I was crazy. Managing a family, a job, and writing the book was definitely a challenge, and he was worried that we wouldn’t have enough time together and as a family. We had lots of negotiations about how much time I could spend working on the book, and what other things in my life would have to give. I have not had time for exercise or friends in a long while. But it is worth it to have a book that I am really proud of and will hopefully help lots of people. And I was incredibly lucky to have such a great partner in Sharon. This really made writing the book a lot easier.
Easiest part of it all?
Sharon: We were amazed at how many people – people we’d never met before – were eager to share their personal stories. As one working mom told us, ”…happy working couples are culturally invisible. We need to change that.” And it was really refreshing to hear men talk candidly. Because our interviews were anonymous, men said a lot of thing that women don’t often hear – how they feel about being bossed around at home, how they feel if their wife quits her job, how they feel if a woman takes a paid maternity leave and doesn’t return. We think it’s much easier to solve the work/life balance problems if we can all talk frankly—and with good humor – knowing that men and women just aren’t that different and generally want the same things: happy families and rewarding work.
Hardest part of it all?
Joanna : You never know how long anything will take. We are two business people who hadn’t done much “creative” work since college. So it took us a long time to write and edit because we were really new at it.
What, if any, tools or advice do you wish you knew at the outset that you know now?
Sharon: It was great working as a team. Joanna and I as  a working mom have different ways of doing things and different strengths and that’s been great for this process. We also pulled in an outside writer/editor who helped us find our voice which might not have happened if we’d just plunged into this alone. We also got lucky and found a fabulous agent and publisher. For a book like this, having lots of input from different view points has made all the difference.
Was it hard working at such fast-paced, high stress companies such as Goldman with kids, Sharon?
Sharon: It was hard but it was worth it. What I learned in writing this book is that there really is no industry or kind of job where working parents have it easy. There are particular bosses – special individuals — who are open-minded and look at your results (are they great or not?) not how many hour you log at your desk. And at Goldman, I was lucky enough to have some of those bosses which made things easier.
Joanna, you were on the cover of the Wall Street Journal for all your successes (kudos to you). Same question for you–did you, and do you still, find it challenging to do all of it with children?
It is always hard to balance everything. I have found that the most important thing I can do is let go of everything in my life that is not really important. The house isn’t always clean, we often eat pasta for dinner (with no vegetables) and my clothes may not be entirely clean or ironed. But my kids get plenty of attention and my family and marriage is thriving. So I am ok focusing on the basics.
A few more questions, just because I believe that American Express should be featuring more momtrepreneurs:
childhood ambition….
Sharon: To be a ballerina or an archeologist.
Joanna: To be a journalist or a politician.
fondest memory….
Sharon: Falling in love with my husband.
Joanna: Backpacking in Europe with my husband.
indulgence…
Sharon: Spending a day by myself reading books.
Joanna: Taking a long walk with my husband.
last purchase…
Sharon: Nerf swords for my daughter.
Joanna: Currently bidding on ebay for a juicy sweatshirt for my daughter and a lego set for my son.
favorite magazine…
Sharon: All of them.
Joanna: The New Yorker.
inspiration…..
Sharon: Gandhi, Gorbachev and every woman who has ever stood up to make things better.
Joanna: Women who manage every day …. I am constantly looking for role models.

Getting To 50/50 publishes TODAY! Get it at stores nationwide, or at Amazon online.