Taming the Butterflies: Presenting Your Best Self to Your Clients

It can be daunting working with clients face-to-face or in group settings on audio clips, Zoom calls, and especially in person. Did you know that Glossophobia, or fear of public speaking, is a common phobia that ranges from slight nervousness to fear paralysis? So, if you ever find yourself stuck like the proverbial deer-in-headlights, take heart—you’re not alone. I can help!

I’ve been teaching Public Speaking at colleges and universities for over a decade. Over the semesters, it’s rewarding to watch students turn anxiety into anticipation, and this transformation can happen for entrepreneurs as well. Just like butterflies have four beautiful wings, I’ll be sharing four transformation tips with you that can help tame those butterflies that flutter around in your stomach and make them work for you.

Transformation Tip #1: In with the Blue, Out with the Red

When we’re anxious, we tend to forget to breathe deeply. We instead take short, shallow breaths. My therapist introduced me to a mindful breathing exercise that can help. It doesn’t take long. I started our speech class with 5-10 minutes of deep breathing to leave our stresses and troubles outside the door. I noticed when we didn’t do this exercise at the start of class, the students seemed to be more anxious and stressed out, so I was sure to do this at the beginning of every class.
Here’s a great breathing exercise to use before meeting or presenting. It takes about 5-10 minutes. Try it with me:

• Find a comfortable, quiet space. It can be in the bathroom or closet, preferably somewhere with a door.
• Close your eyes and clear your mind.
• Mentally push all the troubles and worries. You can even say it out loud. (I’ve done this many times.) You can imagine erasing words off a board. Set those buzzing thoughts outside the door.
• Now, imagine a cleansing color—I usually choose an ocean blue but choose any color that makes you feel calm and happy.
• Take a deep breath in through your nose. Imagine inhaling the healing color throughout your body.
• When you exhale, imagine a color that you associate with stress and worry. I tend to choose a flaming red or a smoky gray, depending on my anxiety level. (I’m channeling my inner dragon here.) Push all the stress and worry out.
• Repeat until you feel your breathing naturally slowing down.

Whenever you feel anxious about presenting or anything that stresses you out, this exercise can help you remember to breathe and slow down the butterflies.

Transformation Tip #2: Water is the Way to Soar

Another method of butterfly-taming is to stay hydrated. Water may help you feel better and present clearly. There are fewer awkward speaking experiences than stepping up to a podium, opening your mouth to speak, and having a choking cough with no water or a throat lozenge in sight. You’re hoping your gag reflexes don’t kick in and audience members start to shift uncomfortably in their seats.
This has happened to me, and I’ve seen other speakers struggle, especially during allergy season. Please do yourself and your clients a favor and bring water with you in case the room and your throat are dry. Also, you may want to skip the cream in your coffee or a glass of milk before you meet with clients, because dairy produces phlegm, making for excessive and unpleasant coughing.

Transformation Tip #3: Wear Your Favorite Outfit and Keep Hair Pulled Back

For Transformation Tip #3, I lumped hair and clothing together because they both can affect delivery style.
When meeting a new client or presenting in front of a group, wear the outfit where you feel your best and you can conquer the world! I often sport my confidence color, which is black, because it makes me feel professional and sophisticated. I imagine I’m draped in a black “supershero” cape. I advise against wearing a new outfit in a new color unless you know it’s gonna be comfortable and you feel great wearing it. It goes double for shoes. (I sported a new pair of shoes for a job interview once and had to take them off on the way home. My heels were bleeding. Lesson learned.)
Also, something I notice often as a speech professor is presenters playing with hair or jewelry accessories while at the podium. They don’t always realize they’re doing it until it’s mentioned on their grade sheets. If you have medium or long hair and tend to fidget, I recommend pulling it back to avoid the temptation. Then, the client will focus on your message and not your tresses.

Transformation Tip #4: Smile While Slightly Bending Your Knees

As a woman, I don’t necessarily like being told to smile, but I’m advising it here for two reasons. Smiling tricks your brain into thinking you feel better, so it may lessen your butterflies and lighten your mood, especially if you’re presenting on a Monday or when you’re not feeling your best. I also learned this trick while working at the public library: if you’re smiling while you speak on the phone or record a message on an app, your voice automatically sounds happier and more confident.
While smiling, a valuable tip to tame those butterflies is to avoid locking your knees. If you’ve ever seen someone pass out while standing, most likely they locked their knees and forgot to breathe deeply (or at all.) This is an important tip to remember. Slightly bend your knees whenever you’re standing or leaning on a podium, and you’ll be fine.

Time to Take Flight

The four transformation tips of deep breathing and visualization, hydration, wearing your favorite outfit with pulled back hair, and smiling while bending knees to avoid passing out, are strategies that can keep anxiety at bay and help you anticipate rather than dread your next client meeting or group presentation. It’s time to take flight!